If Donnie Iris Feels Ripped Off Because I Have A Free
Copy Of "Ah! Leah!", I'll Mail Him A Couple Of Bucks
Fuck Yeah! - www.napster.com

The first MP3 file I downloaded was "Brother Louie" by the Stories, because when I was a kid it was playing on the car radio and my mom explained to me what the song was about, and to this day I look for songs that will teach me lessons while at the same time sounding so haunting and so cool. The second MP3 I got was "Anarchy in the UK" by Megadeth, because they are a singles band and I didn't want to buy the album. The third MP3 I got was "The Wanderer" by Dion because I've always wanted to be the guy in that song.

The next one was "Never Been Any Reason" by Head East, just because. After that it was The Kings' "Switchin To Glide" because I could give it to a friend and be a hero. Then it was "Driver's Seat" by Sniff 'N' the Tears because as far as I know (or care) they never recorded another song. Next up was "Love Is All Around" (yes, The Mary Tyler Moore Show theme song) because: 1) I got up real early one morning in 1987 to see Husker Du perform it on The Today Show, and 2) I still wish Mary would wash my Mustang wearing a Fran Tarkenton jersey. Then I had to get Leonard Cohen's "Everybody Knows" because of my Pump Up the Volume infatuation. (I have all of Hard Harry's monologues on a cassette tape.)

Then I went nuts. Had to have "The Adventures of Grandmaster Flash on the Wheels of Steel" because for a time I was one of the five white persons in North Dakota listening to rap music and I only read about the song in magazines. Then I got Steve Earle's cover of "Six Days on the Road" because it was on the jukebox at the old Sportsmen's Center in Vergas, Minnesota, where my friends and I drank a couple (hundred) pitchers of Schmidt years ago. Up next was "Shout It Out Loud" by Kiss because someone was stupid enough to leave it off Double Platinum (and "God of Thunder" made it?) Then I had to have "Bust a Move" by Young MC because it is one of the greatest one-shots ever. I moved on to the Beastie Boys' cover of "Big Shot," because Chuck and Joel played it on Cosmic Slop once, but it was at the end of their show and it ended up on Radio K's Internet broadcast and I was too late logging in and missed it.

And then I just HAD to have Lloyd Price's "Stagger Lee" and even though he shoots Billy dead, I ended up yelling GO STAGGER LEE GO STAGGER LEE. So fuck the recording industry with their scratchy vinyl and overpriced CDs: I'm taking and taking and not looking back. What are they gonna do - sue me? <

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