THE WYMAN WEEKLY

Just Another Empty Head.

Issue 10 April 11,1996

 

 

 

The Wyman Weekly is in double digits. Kinda hard to believe, ain’t it? Then you remember that I have had nothing else to do the last ten weeks and you wonder why it’s not a daily. This has been a week only noteworthy in how boring it has been. The only things that saved this past week were the Rancid show and my encounters with the female readers out there - bless their hearts. I’ve been scrambling my brain just to come up with some ideas to put on paper. If this were Rolling Stone or Spin, I could come up with a fashion issue and have some great filler like some picture of me standing on the corner of Lyndale and Lake looking cooler-than-thou with a caption that sez: Here’s Wyman in his spring outfit: boots by RJ Colt (Dayton’s, $80), jeans by Levi-Strauss (Kohl’s $24), Detroit Red Wings tee-shirt by Swingster (Holiday Sports, $3), flannel shirt by Honors (Target, $15), Indiglo quartz watch by Timex (Target, $23). Any fashion issue I would do is guaranteed to not have any of that seventies/retro/geekoid crapola in it. I know I sound like an old codger bitching about the way kids dress these days, but realize that we all had to suffer through that wasted fashion decade (even the baseball uniforms were ugly) once and I just don’t feel like doing it again. Anyway, I don’t have the technology to put pictures into this (lucky you) so I guess I’ll just babble on like usual.

 

BEER/BARS

 

The latest trend here at Wymanworld is to drink my beer in a glass. Here at home, I pour my Grainy longnecks into my six ounce Grain Belt glass - just like the kind you see in the little bar up north with the faded paneling walls, the deer heads on the wall and the jukebox with Hank’s “Your Cheatin’ Heart” - and sit at my breakfast nook and sip away. If I go to my friendly neighborhood watering hole and order a bottle of beer, I make sure to get a glass to pour it in. I can taste the beer better and it puts me one step closer to being like the old guys at the bar who’ve been hanging out in the place since Ike was president.

 

Went to the Bryant-Lake Bowl Friday night to see a highly anticipated album release party by Eller Lynch. I’ve only seen John Eller once three years ago at the Uptown on a Friday night. He was one of those guys I had wanted to see for quite some time and his first CD sat at Let It Be in the used bin for months and I would always chicken out when I thought about buying it. I got to the bar around six thirty and by the time he came on, everything was a blur. I do remember being somewhat stunned by his performance and thinking “man, if I was sober this would still be pretty damn cool.” He reminded me of both Paul Westerberg and Rod Stewart (pre-Hollywood) at the same time. (This was the same night I was going to cab it home, but my cab never showed so I walked to a hotel blocks and blocks and blocks from Uptown. I thought about sleeping in my car, but I figured in the Minneapolis cops would use it as an excuse to beat the shit out of me.) These days Eller is working with a guy by the name of Chris Lynch and they’ve been getting rave reviews. So I go to the bar and it’s sold out. Stupid me, I got there around eleven and thought I could just walk in. So, being Mr. Excitement this week that I am, I went home to listen to CDs in the dark. But one day I will see Eller Lynch and will enjoy them whether I like it or not. Next time I will 1) get to the bar two hours before show time and 2) drink nothing but coffee until they start playing.

 

Last Saturday I headed to the CC Club to celebrate Easter because the holiday needs all the help it can get in the fun department. Easter is an overrated holiday on my scale. No days off of work (if I was working full time that would be an even bigger deal) and we always end up having ham instead of turkey and the meal is usually right around noon so there’s no time to pop a few beers with dad before eating. But I digress, as I’m here to tell you about the CC Club where I had a few Premium taps and then headed home to watch my rented video of 25 x 5, which tells the story of the first twenty-five years of the Rolling Stones. It has a lot of really cool footage of their appearances on TV shows and neato concert clips. And although the Stones slipped and made a psychedelic answer record to Sgt. Peppers, it’s worth noting that they bounced back with “Jumping Jack Flash” and then proceeded to put out five of the greatest albums of all time, mixing the blues with rock ‘n’ roll and just that touch of decadence that makes the Stones so fun. I fell asleep right around the time of they were making It’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll, which appropriately enough was the same time the Stones fell asleep in the creative department. I awoke on my futon with empty beer bottles and a bowl of mostly-eaten popcorn on the floor and some really bad bar band with an out-of-breath vocalist doing “Satisfaction” on my TV. My head cleared, and I realized the Stones tape was still running and they were performing during their 1981 tour. I found all the remote controls responsible for shutting down the video and stereo systems and then cursed aloud because I had to set my alarm clock ahead an hour.

 

MUSIC

 

Rancid put on a hot show at First Avenue. I reluctantly acquired their ... And Out Come the Wolves for Christmas and wasn’t expecting much as I had their previous album and wasn’t that impressed. But the new album is one of my favorites of the past year and I’ve been playing it to death the last three months. As we all know, Rancid plays punk rock - three minute songs with loud ‘n’ fast guitars, personal lyrics, beautifully shouted choruses and the best use of handclaps since “Who Are You.” Their live show was just as good as ... And Out Come and in true punk fashion, I finished the evening by taking the bus home. Punk, like rockabilly, will never die. Speaking of rockabilly, the opening band was Rocket from the Crypt who I have wanted to see for some time. They all had rockabilly haircuts, black jeans and black bowling shirts. I thought their music would therefore be some kind of punk/rockabilly fusion a la Social Distortion. But they actually sounded more like the MC5 on the better parts of Kick Out the Jams. After a while though, their songs all started to blend together and sound alike, so I headed to the bar upstairs. At all ages shows your safest bet is to head for the upstairs bar, where you can drink alcohol. It’s actually safer up there and you don’t have to worry that the girl you’re lusting after is only sixteen. (“my favorite guitar player be Jimmy Page...”)

 

April is punk rock month as next week I’m going to see Iggy Pop and I hope he does “Louie Louie” with ALL the lyrics.

 

WORK

 

This week I’ve been working temp out in Burnsville and I tell ya - that little town of Barnesville up north is more exciting than this ‘burb. The people in the office are all extraordinarily friendly, which is great. But (you knew you’d see that word didn’t ya) the office has the local cool jazz station on as background music, which means goddamn Sting is the most exciting thing I hear. For lunch I take the Mustang and drive to whatever parking lot I can find and eat my bag lunch while reading the Pioneer Press sports section and cranking Rev 105. I’m actually working for some computer company who is doing a conversion at this place. Some dude from said company stopped by to talk to me and ask about my background. Apparently, the temp agency told him that I was once a controller. Controller? The only thing I ever controlled at (deleted) was my urge to throw my stapler at whatever manager happened to be using the current management buzzwords. Speaking of buzzwords, what I was involved in with this dude was “networking” as he gave me his card and then asked for mine. I, of course, don’t have a card and failed Networking 101. So needless to say - coming soon: The Wyman Weekly business cards.